If you want to insure that you are pursuing a path of personal responsibility that will lead you to the success you seek, keep this slogan in mind: “The first part of any problem that I must solve is that which is between me and me.”
To look first at your internal conflict does not mean that you will not have legitimate problems with others – your boss, your friend, your spouse, or your colleague. And this is not meant to encourage the old self-victimizing approach of habitually opting for self-blame. Blame and responsibility are not the same thing anyway.
When you begin by resolving inner conflict, you are simply putting first things first. It’s the best starting place; the only starting place if you intend to effect real and lasting change. When you begin problem resolution by looking within yourself first, you are “going with the flow,” complying with one of nature’s laws: growth moves from the inside out.
Consider a seed. Consider a child. Growth in the literal sense is expansion, and expansion by definition moves from the inside out. Can you imagine dropping a pebble in a pool of water, and seeing the resulting ripples move from the outer-most point inward toward the point where the pebble was dropped?
In a Nutshell:
The change you seek always begins with you.